D-Day

That folks is the last picture taken of T before life as we knew it came to a screeching halt......it was taken the day before he was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at the age of 4.  On this day we played at the beach, ate crabs and reveled in complete and ignorant bliss of what the future held for us.  7/17 will always be a day of grief and celebration for our household, it is D-Day....Diagnosis Day.  Everyday, but particularly this one, I think about how different our lives would be if we didn't have to face this disease.  I grieve for the things my son will be barred from, the ramifications to his health, and his unattainable dreams.....no astronaut for him, no CIA operative, no sailing solo around the world.  Luckily T has not come to this realization yet, and I let him dream big as every child should.  While this day brings me sadness it also brings me great pride.  I am so very proud of my son.  He faces this disease with optimism and courage each day.  He rarely complains, never asks why me, he just accepts this burden with grace.  So on this day we celebrate him.  He gets to do whatever he wants. Today he wanted Coldstone Creamery, the Olive Garden and a new book.  So that is exactly what he got...that and a whole lot of insulin.

(Our first night home from the hospital T sleeping with his new glucose monitor)

Please know and recognized the signs of Type 1 Diabetes.  There are no known causes, it can strike anyone at anytime.

Facing the Ugly Truth

Type 1 Diabetes sucks! Seriously I want a vacation...a diabetic vacation. My son T is a T1D. It is a relentless beast we wrestle with daily. Managing this disease requires a dizzying array of accouterments: Monitors, lancets, test strips, needles, alcohol pads, insulin, glucose tabs, and a Glucagon emergency kit. Everyday my son literally fights for his life, we are just one cupcake away from death it seems. NPR had a wonderful segment on T1D the other day and one mother coined my biggest fear perfectly "Every night you go to bed in fear of awakening to the dead-in-bed syndrome." Dead-in -bed......shudder........I nearly crashed the car hearing this phrase. The tears instantly welled up as I was once again battered by the enormity of this responsibility. The goal in managing T1D is to keep your blood sugar as normal as possible. In order to achieve "normalcy" an aggressive insulin regime is necessary; the truth is the better you control your blood sugar the greater the risk of death related hypoglycemia. We walk a razors edge it seems: extended periods of high blood sugar lead to a plethora of health complications but keeping your blood sugar "normal" increases your prevalence for hypoglycemic incidents. Hmm...... instant death or life long health problems....
I was thinking of the future the other day and realized the worry will probably only get worse before it gets better. Right now I have complete control over my sons diet and insulin regime. This will not be the case as he ages. He will no doubt be a typical defiant teenager and rebel against the world...his diabetes included. Every time my teenage son drives away I'll worry about him crashing due to a low. I can't even imagine college....he can't drink like a typical co-ed; I sure hope he realizes this without a hospitalization. I try not to focus on the future to much and instead choose to celebrate each day I have with my amazing son. I am blessed to live in a century and a country that enables me to do this. Parents everywhere past and present have had to watch their young children succumb to this beast. This is not meant to be a pity party. I realize each day how lucky I am my son has a disease that is treatable; it could be so much worse. But it still SUCKS!

Numbers...

3,180 that is the number of injections give or take a few hundred my son has had in the 2 years, 2 months and 2 days he has had Type 1 Diabetes. I can't even begin to calculate how many finger pricks the little warrior has sustained in the last 795 days, at least 7,000. His bravery and stoicism is awe inspiring at times. He deftly hold his finger up in deep sleep to be tested, no longer even waking for this ritual. Our days are filled with number crunching...carb to insulin ratios, correction doses, minutes between meals, and behind all these figures a small boy thrives. His hope and determination never fades......"when they find a cure mama"....there is no if. Most days this disease no longer even causes me to bat an eye, and then there are mornings like today. Days where my heart breaks anew as my son looks at me and asks pleadingly "Why did I have to get diabetes Mom?" If only I had 1 answer.......